Paglalayag ng Pag-ibig

Sa ulap kung saan ako ay nakalutang...
kung minsan ay may kumpas ng hangin,
na waring ako ay dinuduyan, kung saan ako ay maghihimbing ng tuluyan...
siguro doon ko sasabihin tapos na, wakas na,
ang lahat ng pait ay napalitan na ng tamis...
ngunit sa aking pakiwari matatagalan pa..
matatagalan pa bago ko sabihing,saglit lang, ito na...

-jackie
(ang minsan ng naniwala sa paglalayag ng pag-ibig)

Alaala ng Tag Araw

Minsan dinadayo parin ako ng alaala ng isang tag araw...
Sumasayaw, kumakaway na kawangis ng isang puno ng mangga,
at para bagang sinasabi, "halina, halina"...
Ang mainit na simoy ng hanging dumadampi sa aking kaibuturan,
hatid sa akin ay hapdi...ligaya at lungkot ng isang tag-init...

-jackie

Trois Poèmes d'amour

unique love

like each day, my love for you is unique;
like a pond, it chooses to be silent,
like the last evening, there is no sunrise for it,
but like rain in a stormy afternoon, it chooses to pour...


impossible love


sittin' on the rooftop, staring at the tangerine sky,
little by little the moon and stars come out to light the lands,
as much as i want to reach and touch them,
i know it is impossible to do.
suddenly it is you, it is your face that i see...
just like the moon and stars that brighten the dark lands,
i can do nothing but stare at it,
as much as i want to reach and touch your lovely face,
i know it is just impossible to do...
so before the thick clouds cover the moon and stars,
i realize i must lay my love for you to rest...
though my love hid behind the dark clouds,
which i guess you really never knew...
it is a feeling of love which i choose to conceal,
for i fear that from me you may disappear...
the possibleness for you to embrace this love,
is just impossible for you to do...


for this is an impossible love...


this moment is you...

this moment is all about you...
the moonlight during the dark;
the star when there is no moon;
the fireflies when there is no star;
the midnight breeze when there is no more firefly;
the tomorrow to look forward to when midnight is almost over;
i just love you for all you are and when the time comes,
and i must stop loving you,
my respect will still be there, since i made it through
because of you...

for now, this moment is all about you...

-J.Perfinan

ODE OF A SOUNDLESS LOVE

I feel a soft beat coming from my heart,
It whispers out your name but I try to shut the thought…
Like the silent seas at dawn, I fear this silent feelings,
Gentle as the mild breeze in spring, yet as strong as the autumn wind,
Your serene  way touches my senses, and my confusion begins…
Though so delicate and dainty, it will be outshone by your beauty.

So I embrace this sweet madness and kiss the advent pain,
I can endure our distance, but not your prolonged absence;
It travels a thousand miles; embraces my fragile state of being
Every glance on your photographs, gives a shiver to my bones…
My heart beats faster and I withdraw from the agony,
I blow secret rose petals and wish for it to touch you somehow,
Enclosed herewith, is my concealed profound love for you.

 I close my eyes and search for the memory of your face,
And in my imagination I touch your silky hair…
I then weave a satin dream of just you and me,
Alas! Like cobwebs, one teardrop can break the lovely spell…
When I wake up to reality, it’s clear I have no grasp of you,
So let this love remain in my heart, and let it just hide deep within… 


- J.Perfinan

THIS FORCE CALLED LOVE

• I am afraid of this feeling,
  Which I have been ignoring…
  A great force I resist and try not to uphold, 
  not only once but a thousand fold
  Each thought of you, sinks into me,
  every time I feel how strong this force could be
  I gotta move and I just know that I should
  It’s an unstoppable force…
  And it bewilders me or makes me confused,
  Though I know the direction, still I am lost
  I get lost and drown in your ways…
  When we talk, I pretend and hide what’s inside
  I step back and try to turn around,
  But each time I do, it draws me back to you.
  And so I close my eyes and put a facade,
  but this energy, this unstoppable force,
  it brings a kaleidoscope of you in my mind,
  every color, every angle, every shape,
  every twist and every turn and every move,
  there is nothing I see, nothing at all but you
  Please, I don’t want to name it and ratify,
  I don’t want to define or search more of it,
  My inner strength battles with this force,
  But it loses, I lose, I surrender, but I escape…
  Then I get captured in your fortress and I collapse,
  in a dream and fantasy that I slip away from
  An imaginary cloud lifts me up so high…
  It floats me to a different height and then I falter,
  For it brings me back closer to you,
  This force pushes me more and towards to you,
  It pushes me and I struggle to pull back,
  It’s a tug o’ war of my sanity and emotion,
  A fist fight of my desire and what is right
  And the manifestation of all these are my tears…
  Tears of fear, tears for someone that I can never keep.
  It’s a gamble and the prize overwhelms me,
  For in my life, I can either lose or keep you,
  Though I would still prefer the latter,
  The former may keep me alive, but leave me lifeless…
  It is a strong force and it scares me,
  A silent force that keeps me going closer…
  I don’t blame you; you are not at fault,
  Since your existence in my world and my life,
  was once a reason and a cause, why I survived the misery.
  This strong force is like a midnight song,
  Beautiful yet its sound is like a distant sad melody;
  Impossible to be heard, impossible to be understood.
  So, if I face you, If I declare and confess the truth,
  would you understand me, what I’d say and still stay?
  Or would you think I’m queer and it’s wrong or bizarre,
  and decide to elude or leave me and walk away?

  This is an unstoppable force; it brings me to you,
  It is a strong force, it made me fall for you…
  The same strong force that may lead to losing you.

  - j.perfinan