I am never ashamed of who I am...I may have different colors; perhaps one at a time or it may be many, I can be a rainbow, but like a chameleon it changes depending on the color of the person in front of me. I know how to adjust to situations and places but like a rubber band, I can only stretch that far. I am never afraid to make mistakes because from these mistakes is where I learn to be a better person; mistakes are like sunshine and water; they help me grow... I am not afraid to do and be what I want, after all life is too short to allow things to pass me by...I am not shy and afraid to love anyone I choose to do so, whether he or she loves me back or not; love is the most beautiful feeling and the most precious gift that I can give in this one and only lifetime...it is the purest emotion one can share. I get angry when I am, why shouldn’t I? even God gets angry...I laugh and cry when I am happy, I cry and laugh when I am sad...and I choose to be numb and pretend that I isn’t feeling anything if I want to; especially if someone will be glad to see me mad or sad; or if someone will weep when I seem to be joyful and happy; otherwise why should I keep what I feel? I express it because it is my privilege as an individual, as a human being. we were not given the gift to feel, just to suppress our emotion, unless you want to go crazy…no one , not anybody has the single right to dictate my emotion or to teach me how and what I should feel. I respect other people’s burst of emotion so I expect mine to be respected...I have my own principles and I will always stand by them for whatever it is or whatever I decide to or decide on...I am always ready to face the consequences of my action and still learning how not to escape when I have no where to run...you can tell me I am right...you can tell me I am wrong...but you have no right to decide for me...I am the captain of my ship, if I sink and I fail, there will be no one to blame but me.
I am quite outspoken and I am aware of that, so your honesty is always welcome so that I am not indebted to you and you to me-what I am trying to say is, you can always tell me what you think about me…I try my best not to hurt feelings and not to hurt others, but if you have caused me pain in a number of times, it is natural for me to absorb your actions and I would think it is fine and possible to hurt you too-in return I will hurt you more. I am not Jesus, I am not God, so if you throw a stone on me, I will keep my bread and throw knives on you. I may be a pushover but this is because I don't want to turn down people I love. However, I only have all mine to give, once you ask for more, more than what I have, I will not be comfortable anymore, I will leave without saying goodbye, otherwise a painful goodbye...and even if I am a pushover, it doesn't give you the power to abuse me...
I have my own share of stupidity and there are still so many things I do not know, so expect me to ask questions sometimes, I mean a lot. I will be a hypocrite if I say I am an innocent but I will be a liar if I say I am not an ignorant sometimes-what I mean by this is, I expect people around me not to know everything, but everyone should learn the art of asking questions in a way that you will not look stupid. what I mean again is, search for the answers first by the use of resources. I was not the very bright one at school but I wanted to shine, so I searched and developed where I can excel; where I enjoy doing the most. I stood not where the sun was, for they were crowded, so even if they shone, it was confusing to identify them. instead, I stood where the rain fell so that the sun will reflect on it and will bring me the rainbow. it’s easier to notice the rainbow than the sun, for the sun is always there but the rainbow comes when least expected- what I mean about this is, we are not the only people in the world but stand up and be who you want to be by doing what makes you happy. happiness, I believe is the key to success…be someone, be something, be unique and respect other people’s differences; respect mine. I will respect yours.
whenever I meet someone in this journey called life, I make sure that I leave my footprints behind; bad or good? it depends on how you have treated me... I am a reflection of what you are to me...what you are to me, is what I am to you...hate me and I will hate you back, love me and I will love you more...I am not a very confrontational person, but I fight back and believe me you wouldn’t want to see me mad...however, feel bad and insulted if I ignore your rants, it means I don’t care about you and you are not worth my time…if I whine, it means I am overworked or abused…you can ignore me too and I will feel bad and insulted…well, it should not only be you to feel bad and insulted, am I right? it’s your right to take revenge and mine as well.
the worst about me, is my pride. “sorry” is the hardest word for my mouth to utter, but when I do, consider it as pure and true as a 24 karat gold, for it takes me thinking, courage and a whole lot of effort to say so. I am not perfect, neither are you; I don't always do what is right, but I don't always do wrong things either...treat me right, treat me fair because that is what I deserve, vice versa…nobody in this world is greater than the other; we are all equal so I expect to be treated fairly… and believe me I have mastered the art of respecting people and their individuality.
as a daughter, I have a lot of short coming; but have you ever heard that experience molds us to whom we are and whom we shall be? that explains why I am too independent and strong; my parents had short comings too, and I thank them for that…it made me a better woman.
I am also weak; my weakness are people…so imagine how much I value people in my life that I have chosen to keep…the only sad thing is I keep a few, very few. the saddest thing is, I burn bridges…I turn away from people for some reasons…even if you were once one of those I chose to keep…
as a sister, I am very protective and quite generous, however, when I see that you can go on your own, I know I should let go...
as a worker, I believe that whatever you do now, will put you on the right place in the future…so I work, not too much, but I work hard…I put my heart to what I am doing; I learn and keep learning more...and from my father I have learned to work with honesty and dignity…as much as possible I do what is right and not what should be done…at first I am loyal to myself but later my loyalty goes to whomever deserves it. I don't kiss ass because I don't like my ass being kissed... brown nosing is for people who do not believe in themselves...I believe in me...and if there are times when I lose trust in me and in what I can do, I reach the hands of those people I trust and believe in…and for those people who believe and trust in me, I can always give a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, ears to listen, words of advice, mind to understand, legs to walk with at a park…plus, if they will need my eyes to be open for 24 hours just to be with them, I will not hesitate…and then I have my heart for them…a heart for me to be able to do all that I have mentioned…like I said earlier, love is the most precious gift I can offer in this lifetime…but TRUST is always a bonus…
Trust is the most important gift for me…for I only trust once, since when I am trusted, I keep it locked in my heart and try not to break it…if I fail then I don’t expect the person to trust me again…same goes here, when I lose my trust in someone, I hardly give it back, I hardly trust again… Trust compared to Love, cannot be rekindled…Giving my trust to someone once is enough, twice is too much, thrice is hardly possible…
I don’t expect anyone to please me, unless you are my lover; so I don’t like pleasing other people, again unless you are my lover…
love me or hate me, this is who I am...
and this is me…
- Hellen Keller
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