Daylight

It is just like the peeping of a brand new morning,

Sending the studs of stars to sleep while flickering

The now awakened sun scatters brightness over the lands,

Revealing what the moon hid under the dark velvet skies

Unfolding and opening shallow and deeply kept treasures

Will we embrace what light has brought to us to muse?

Or do we choose to alter and refine what we cannot bear?

I choose to look at sunlight in a different perspective,

If its heat is less, on my face I shall allow it to receive

But its beauty is more alluring than its cool-calm shadow

Alas! It will soon be a spotlight and everything will show

How can I refuse a promising dawn and the break of sunrise?

what if last night's dream is not as beautiful as reality and I realize?

Would you still welcome tomorrow's pledge, daylight and dare?


-Jackie Perfinan-

November

This present calm, shall I compare it to spring dawn?
For its quietness is lovely and sweet as rich nectar
Or shall I compare it to the blue green mountains,
where yellow daisies, lavenders and red roses bloom?

Whilst your heart is the haven to my wild thoughts,
Your words are the sun and moon that rise on my face 
your utterly silence is my perfect home and place
it is where my dusted and weary spirit comes to rest.

Our souls-they are the summer sky and autumn clouds,
belonging and floating in the same height and space
Your arms is where I choose to retire and surrender
when my brave-fierce heart has gone weak and somber.

Your love is my sunset, prefect place and shelter.


-jackie

October

The overflowing love I have is deeply intense,
burning every inch of my inner force and self,
If my warmth and fieriness touch your soul
believe me, trust me, it is embroided with passion

But my love please hear my heart's solemn plea,
My somber heart had been bruised and scarred
desire to feel it, touch it, let it beat as if your own

My love for you is lovingly providing, selfless
I was frightened to discern you and to love you
But I have chosen to abandon the dreadful fear
To give, to risk, to lay all my feelings so dense

But my love please hear my heart's solemn plea,
a rose full of fragrant has thorns; it pricks and cuts
I'm set to receive pain, heal me, no don't desert me

Alas!
If one fateful storm, and you'd choose to neglect me
Return my heart though bleeding, beaten, ripped
My love please hear my sorrowful and solemn plea,
Leave me with pride-surrender it unruined if you'd flee



-- jackie perfinan

Love and Melody

You and me, we are like a heartfelt song
The lyrics is me and you're the melody
Don't you feel to me is where you belong?
Aren't we just a simple perfect harmony?

But like any song we may run out of tune,

A Heart's Fervent Love

Imagine the clear blue skies during spring,
That’s the beautiful bliss to me, you bring
The leaves that drop when it’s time of fall,
That’s how I saw your eyes, whenever I recall
Have you heard the calm sound of rushing stream?
That much serenity is you just like it’s a dream.
The hot color of blood in deep intense red,
That’s my love for you that I haven’t uttered

My eyes, you haven’t stared in my eyes have you?
The bliss, sadness, calm, love lie in there anew…
Yes, everyday my fervent love for you is reborn
And my fierce heart waits even if at the end it’ll be torn.

-Jackie Perfinan

confession of fear

Beginning to write this took me so much courage. We were strangers weren't we?
Okay I am scared. Very scared actually. My heart has been tired for trying and failing. So many times. You came in my life when I was so weary, so exhausted. And yes I am so afraid. One day you arrived. I was just planning to say hello. I was planning to let you see just how you saw me the first time. There was no plans for me to stay. But you, you pacified me. You make me understand so much things without you speaking. From planning to walk out of the door after saying hello I decided to stay to be your friend. For you to be my friend. But you, you saw my shades and colors. You understood me like no one has ever done. You talked to my very sad soul. I got so scared. I am so scared. You are just so "perfect" for me. You were everything in my mind. Why? Why does it have to be you? And I am so scared to gamble. Not after my heart being broken so many times. Not when my issues on trust have been stained. Not now that I am not even sure what I am to you. You bring me so much happiness, a kind of happiness that I have never felt. It is such a peaceful happiness that it scares me so much. You always know the right words to say. You hold my heart in a way that it brings me to a peaceful place. It is you. You are the first person that I have ever met that put me in this peaceful place. In a right place. But me. I am so flawed. You. I see no flaw in you. When I finally "saw" you, I got so scared again because you were someone I was afraid to lose. But again who am I to you? I am afraid to try now. I am afraid to put my heart in danger again. No, I am walking away before my heart breaks again. You found me and I cannot take the chance. I don't know who I am to you. No. I am not ready to hear who I am to you.

And I have to walk away now. I need to protect my once bruised heart. In my own perfect world I knew I wanted you to be the one. I was willing to gamble but I got scared of who I was to you. Who I am to you. I am afraid. And I don't know what to do.

I see no flaw in you. I am so flawed. And I know I was in love with you when I could not look you in the eyes. I was afraid because I know my eyes will speak and will never lie to you. And now I need to walk away. My fear tells me to walk away. Thank you for bringing me to that peaceful place in so much bliss.

Himig

Paano mo nga ipapaliwanag ang ligaya kung ang kasabay nito ay takot?

Paano ba bigkasin ang mga salita kung ito’y minsan ng nagdala ng kirot?

Maaari nga bang lumuha at masaktan dahil sa labis na hatid mong saya?

Sumanib sa akin ang kalagayan at ganap sa isang perya

Halakhak ng damdamin umaagos hanggang sa aking isipan

Sumisipol ng bagong tugtugin at kay gandang musika

Yan ang iyong dulot sa aking pagkatao at buong kalooban

Ang lahat ay tila isang musikero na gustong may ipadinig,

Inaaral na matutunang tumugtog ng kanyang guitara

Nangangapa, sumasabay sa kung saan dalhin ng himig

Yan ay damdamin na tila hindi ko ma-awit sayo ng tama

Ako baga ay parang musmos na sugatan ang tuhod

At ikaw ay bagong kalaro na handang magpasaya dito

Bagamat hindi handa ang puso kong lagi nalang natitisod

Sa labis na ligaya at ngiti na dulot mo, naghihilom muli ito

Ngunit, paano mo ipapaliwanag ang ligaya kung ang kasabay nito ay takot?

Paano ba bigkasin ang mga salita kung ito’y minsan ng nagdala ng kirot?

Maaari nga bang lumuha at masaktan dahil sa labis na hatid mong saya?

Kung ako’y maging handa para sayo, ibibigay mo ba ng buo ang puso mo?

-Jackie Perfinan

Painful Bliss

you were bound to convey pleasure and pain,
she was ready to accept them as if to sustain
her heart with the prowess to endure and bear
the heart that bleeds and relentless to tear

you screamed passion for someone else's name
she chose to watch you hum a heartfelt hymn.
she blames you not since it was clear and plain
and her love is as solemn as the sound of rain

you were like a drug, a heroin; she was the user
she was drawn to cease, to let go and surrender
hence tried to withdraw, to forget, mostly grief
but her bliss is you, so she returns with relief

her love for you is like an ancient rocking chair
she moves, she cradles, yet it brings her nowhere
worst! it breaks, it collapses together with her
that may wound her soul and it will scar forever

then one night, that fateful hour, she broke down
dragged her stabbing pained self! this ruined one!
if you knew her, know she owned undying strengths 
She's a pearly white formica; hard rock, she stands

tonight, her feelings for you still pours so freely,
however, her finger touches that love with finality
she'll remember you always like her favorite summer
her suffering ends here but your memory will linger

she has loved you, it was eternal
yet she was wounded, she is a mortal

- jackie perfinan

Palaisipan

Bakit?

Bakit mas madalas na walang kasagutan sa mga tanong?
Ako ay manghuhula na lamang ba pagkat hindi na makapaghintay?
Bakit tila mas madaling sabihin ang mahal kita ngunit mahirap panatiliin?
Hindi gaya ng pagpapaalam na kay hirap bigkasin ngunit kay dali naman gawin...
Bakit nga ba likas sa atin na mas mabilis tayo ay mang-husga? 
Ngunit kay bagal ng pag usad ng pag-tanggap at pag-unawa?

Marahil bago pa man dumating ang mga kasagutan...
Ang lahat ng ito ay labis ko ng naintindihan...

Minsan...

Minsan ako ay sa hangi'y kumapit...
Nagpa-agos sa haplos ng araw sa tag-init...
Sumayaw sa ilalim ng bituin at kabilugan ng buwan...
Natulog habang bumubuhos sakin ang ulan...

Malamang kung ikaw ay nagbabasa nito ikaw ay naguluhan...
Magaling! Pagkat ako ay iyong naintindihan!

-jackie perfinan

Lavender, Rose, Lily and Her Heart

She had waved farewell, turned her back and drifted away,

From an island of lavender fields and torching addicting weeds

Yes, with blazing beliefs that this is not to lead her astray

The tormenting rush of blood through her veins of veins!    

She screams in mighty and fervent tears of freedom and glee

Touching a land of peaceful chaos, a land of roses where she lay

It allowed her to stay quite longer, thorns pricked her inner skins

“Unconfined, bluntly”- she thought of those pricks on her as fey

Alas! she dreamt of the scent of lavender in the islands and weeds

Gathered her oars, left the roses and rowed back to frightful agony

As she stroked to rough warm waters, a modest lily caught her way

The lily emulated, echoed her being, her voice, and all of her needs

She swore she would row from night ‘til day if the lily would stay

Before dawn a harsh truth snapped, the lily belonged to someone else

Short lived it was named, she painted it in oil as if it was not to flee

In the rise of the red moon, on the lavender field she ran and lay

The sweet scent lulled her, dragged her, pulling her to deep dreams

Dreams turned to delicious nightmares, found herself in a sad bay

She watched her soul roll in lavenders and roses and addicting weeds!

Bleeding, wounded, bruised, the rage and the scars she’d hated to see!

The oars all wrecked, her spirit drenched, her soul almost lost!

Her heart. It was broken. Her heart was still beating yet bleeding....

-jackie perfinan

Para kay Glaiza

Kay tagal mong hinintay itong tamis ng tagumpay,

natagalan man ng saglit, kailan ma'y hindi bumigay

kay raming mong oras na hindi man lang sinayang

patuloy kang nangarap,pag-asa'y hindi nadarang

O kay daming pagkakataon na ikaw ay tinanggihan

batid kong ikaw ay lumuha at ikaw nga ay nasaktan

marahil sa labis na pagod ang huminto'y iyong naisipan

hindi lamang pagod ng katawan at puso, kundi kalooban

Pero patuloy kang lumaban; sumabay sa agos ng buhay

ang iyong bituin ay inabot kahit minsan ay nanlupaypay

Bagamat may pait at hapdi ang sugat ng iyong nakaraan

hindi ka kailanma'y bumigay at patuloy ka ngang lumaban

Sa lahat ng iyong tinakbo at pinagdaanan sa iyong karera

Maging ang iyong hilig at pag-ibig sa musika't sa pagkanta,

Pag-mamahal ng pamilya at pag-papala sayo ng Lumikha

ay siyang naging iyong lakas at dahilan upang magpatuloy pa

Oo, kay tagal mo naghintay para sa tagumapay na kay tamis,

Ito nama'y dumatal sa tamang panahon dahil sa ika'y nag-tiis

Di baga pag pinaghirapan mas masarap akapin at tanggapin?

Karapatdapat sayo lahat dahil sa kabutihan na iyong angkin!

Maraming salamat sayo Glaiza Galura o de Castro ka man

Ikaw ang sa amin ay nag hatid ng inspirasyon at kaligayahan

Nawa'y ikaw ay patuloy pang pag-palain ng May Kapal

Pagkat ikaw ay talaga namang tunay naming minamahal 

-Jackie Perfinan

But My Love is a Candle

This fierce ache in my heart is a cowardly calm, 

A drop of boiling, melting candle wax on my palm

The intensity is pricking; the pain is stinging

Alas! as the wax hardens, the hurt starts vanishing

Then here's my love for you, not gone, still strong

Blame me not; I've fallen in love with you all along

Though you've chosen to pain me, it has not stopped me

My love for you is a river, screaming, raging so freely

If this ode of mine reaches you, be it known that it's true

What real love, passion; feelings of the soul can really do

Yes, like a candle, it may slowly die as the wax melts down

It melts yes, but when gathered can create a brand new one

You may elude or desert me, but my love is a candle

It melts yes, but when gathered can create a brand new one

                                                                                  -j.perfinan

Summer

You are a touch of warm breeze on my skin

a pretty laughter that brings me so much grin

You are an evening walk along a busy avenue,

and our quiet talk is just peaceful when I'm with you

Your dark brown eyes are my blissful thoughts

You are my sweet caramel and tiny alcohol shots

a dainty sunflower in a silent field is who you are

and my velvet skies when it's dark with no star...

- jackie perfinan

Mirasol

Ikaw, ikaw nga ay saki'y gumitla,
Maamo mong mata ay kahali-halina
Tila mirasol na nakatingala sa araw,
Ningning nito'y sa puso ko'y nagpahiyaw
Ikaw nga ay Mirasol, nagdulot sakin ng saya

Sayo, oo sayo ko muling nadarama,
na mahaplos ang aking pusong balisa
Ang isip ko'y may tanong at pagtataka
Ako nga ngayo'y ay totoong nangangamba...
Ngunit ikaw ay Mirasol nagdalala ng sigla 

Ako, ako nga ba'y lilisan at lalayo na,
Pagkat damdamin mo'y may hapdi at sugat pa?
Ang nais ko lamang sana ay hilumin ito
Hindi ko sadyang ikaw ay tabuyin palayo
Pagkat ikaw ay Mirasol na hatid ay panatag

Kung liparin ng hangin ang aking pagsinta,
Doon kung saan wala ka ng takot at pangamba
Ang hiling lamang sana ay buksan ang pintuan
Luha mo ay papahirin at ang mata mo ay hahagkan
Ikaw ay isang Mirasol na kay payapang pagmasdan


Ang aking hiling ay wag akong layuan
Pagkat malulumbay ang puso ko at isipan
Ikaw nga'y biglang sumibol sa aking kalooban
Sa pagitan ng kulimlim, sakit at tag-ulan
Kaya't Mirasol sa tag-araw ang iyong ngalan

-J.Perfinan

Pink Margarita

I hold this margarita glass,

I stare at the pink liquid inside,

I take a sip and taste the sweetness,

And I say, “this is me,

This is what I should be”,

Then, I must escape from you…

You are a margarita glass,

You are the pink liquid inside,

You have the sweetness too,

And I speak to myself, “this is you.

This is what I also am”,

Then, must I escape from you?

We are the margarita glass,

We are the pink liquid inside,

We both have this taste of sweetness,

And I just know, that I have to escape from you…

With every sip and every taste and every sweetness,

I think of you, tears drop for you...

With every sip and every taste and every sweetness,

Still do not give me the courage and the voice,

to express and confess every pouring love for you…

if I break this margarita glass,

if I pour this pink liquid,

but still embrace and linger on the sweetness,

then I will not have to escape from you…

if I face my courage and have the voice,

if I express and confess every pouring love for you,

will you still embrace the sweet aftertaste that lingers?
No. I know that you will escape and run away from me...

Sweet Pink Margarita lingers on me...

So, I whisper to myself, "I need to escape now from you..."

-j.perfinan

Lifeless Butterfly

It is a lifeless butterfly,
Fighting to flutter so high
Fluttering, faltering to the ground
It is a lifeless butterfly...

Numb colorful wings it's got,
Despair and pain, as they froth
Inside of it, it is wailing! screaming!
It is a lifeless butterfly...

It is a sight of felicity and glee,
Absurd! all those are just illusory!
Can't you see its bizarre inner place?
It is a lifeless butterfly...

Whimsical garden for this piteous thing,
All but a den of distress and wearing!

This is a lifeless butterfly

j.perfinan

Tala

Ikaw para sakin ay tila laging isang tala sa kalangitan,

Ako ay aalis, lalayo at dadayo kung saan-saan...

Ngunit ang iyong liwanag ay siya ko parin tutunguhan

Ang ningning sa iyong mata ay naghahatid lagi ng ngiti

Kung kaya't siguro ikaw ay sa puso ko'y nananatili,

Kahit saan man mapadpad, ikaw talaga ay natatangi

Lagi kong naaalala ang iyong nakakahawang tawa,

Kahit may lumbay ang paligid pag andyan ka'y sumisigla.

Ganon ka naman kasi talaga, kaya buhay ay kay ganda,

Pag ikaw ang kasama, ang lungkot kahit paano'y napapawi

Kaya kahit ako ay namahinga at nawala ng sandali,

Isang araw, pag handa na ako babalik akong muli...

Totoong ako ay masaya sa lahat ng iyong tinatamasa,

Ikaw talaga ay hindi lamang bituin kundi isang tala

Busilak ng iyong liwanag ang syang saki'y nagpapaalala

Ang siyang nagtuturo kung paano at saan kita babalikan

Kay sarap alalahanin na minsan mo na akong tinuring kaibigan

Kung kaya't ako man ay lumisan, hindi kita nakalimutan

Isa kang natatanging TALA sa kalangitan...

-j.perfinan

Alas Kwatro Ng Umaga

Ang puso ko'y may kirot at lumbay

Nagtataka pagkat ito'y matagal ng patay

Lahat ng luha na pinigilan ilabas yaring mata

Umaapaw na sa aking kalooban ng di sadya

Kung kaya lamang na ang lahat ay huminto na

Maging itong buhay at pagsapit ng umaga

Nanaisin ng kaluluwa kong maghimlay na lamang

Pagkat hapdi at pasakit ay natabunan na ang tapang

Ako ba ay makakaramdam pa ng pag-akap?

Mula sa isang pag-ibig na di kailangan ng aking sikap

Maaari bang tapusin na ang paghihintay?

Itong katawan at pagkatao tila'y wala ng saysay 

Sana nga lahat ng to'y liparin na ng malakas na hangin

Ang pagtakbo ko'y para bang mahuhulog sa bangin

Kung usisain ng aking bukas ang aking kahapon?

Ipagkakaloob ko na lamang lahat ng meron ngayon

Nais ko lang naman ay mahaplos ng katotohanan

Ang lahat ng minsan ay nabahiran ng kasinungalingan

Ang hiling ko lang naman sana humiram ng konting ngiti

Ngunit sadyang ito ay kay damot at mapagbigay ang pighati

-jackie perfinan

Nagbabadyang Tag-Ulan

Muling humampas ang alon sa dalampasigan...

Nagbabadya nanaman ba ang bagyo't tag-ulan?

Ang hangin na animo'y sumisipol, humihiyaw

Mga punong nababaliw, umiindayog sumasayaw...

Ikaw ba ay tatalikuran at hihinto sa paghihibang?

O ako ba'y hahayayaan ang sarili'y madarang?

Kay tamis ng pag-tawag ng ulan sa aking pangalan...

Kung kaya lamang sana maibsan ang kalungkutan,

Pababayaan ko na lamang umagos ang damdamin,

Ngunit ito'y magdudulot ng malalim na sugat sa akin...

Ang tanong lang, bakit nga ba kay ilap lagi ng ligaya?

At ang kabaliwan ba ang sa puso ay magpaparaya?

Nagbabadya nanaman ang bagyo't tag-ulan...

-j.perfinan

#ULAN